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Characters: Kanda Yu [

looseleafbook]
When: November 25th
Where: Apartments
Rating: G
Summary: No one's harder hit than them.

Allen. Link. Cross. Mikk. All recent losses, and if Kanda wanted to go back even further, he could count his double as well. Exorcists from their world had flocked to Nesreca, and now, it seems they're all being taken away. Like the past few months and weeks were nothing but a tease, a 'game' of Libitina's. Kanda's always shrugged off loss, always quickly moved on, because that's who he was.

He's had no choice but to change the past year while he's been here. Gained time with Alma, experienced what it would be like if...Alma got to live on, as an Akuma, and as an Exorcist. Possibilities brought to light thanks to alternate universes. He actually got what you could consider, for him, close to Allen Walker. And yeah, they fought. They argued. They clashed and butted heads, like they always have. But it was never as often here. It was more 'swallow your pride and work together.'

But he cared. Losing Allen is what started it, for him.

Restless nights, continuous unease and frustration that he just couldn't find a release for. Then Link left. Then Cross, and shortly after, Mikk. His frustration and irritation at losing Cross was clearly now known by all, whether they chose to acknowledge it or not. It was there as plan as day on the network. Link and Mikk he barely knew, and didn't really care that much for. Just another piece of 'home,' as it was starting to become, while they were around.

It would definitely be nice if they could get a break from this, of people they were close with leaving. But considering their lives, how they've lived, it was probably too much to ask for.

Kanda makes his way inside of the apartments after trying meditation for an hour and a half, and he has to pause as he passes one of the doors by the front door. Room 102...didn't have a name. He just stood there, staring for a long moment. 'Allen Walker' was still very faintly visible if you knew where to look. Now, the newest name, Lenalee's, was wiped.

Oh you had to be fucking kidding him. You have to be fucking kidding.

He didn't know if it was a good thing he wasn't feeling much emotion at discovering another departure. Yeah, he was a little angry. Lenalee didn't deserve to be sent back home, where she was likely being overworked with so few Exorcists left. She could at least rest here, even if she hated it here. He knew that being here was stressful for her, grating on her sanity. He wasn't blind to that. He tried to support here where he could, after all. He was sure everyone else here did, too, in their own way. Save for the Noah, anyway.

...Maybe she really was better off there, though. With Komui. In her proper Home, even if he wouldn't be there.

Ahhh, this sucks. Kanda's shoulders slumped a bit before he continued on to the stairs, climbing up all flights in order to reach Lavi's room. He had simply planned to ask for a spar, considering how hard Lavi had been taking the losses too, but...

Sparring may end up having to wait, once Kanda tells the redhead the news. And as he stood in front of Lavi's door, part of him was dreading it. Might as well tell him now, since he'll find out eventually anyway.

So he lifts up a hand and just. knocks on the door, hoping the other is actually in his room and not out somewhere moping and brooding.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh good, that makes him feel a little bit better about things. But the thing with people leaving and it hurting - not just Allen though that had hurt the most - was that Lavi was letting himself make real friends. Even with the ones he was already friends with. So when they left a part of him was missing more strongly than he was used to, the hurt was deeper and he didn't know how to recover from it.

He knew one way actually, to close off and hide in that Bookman exterior. But he had promised himself he wasn't going to numb himself like that, to hide. He'd get through this, he just has to find his own way and his own strength. Give him time.

Six people that Lavi missed. That he wished were here again. No matter the circumstances. Allen, Lenalee, Cross, 'llujah, Mikk, and Timcampy. Others had left as well but these hit hard enough to dent the happy and friendly mask he showed the world. He remembered them all.

He puts the bottle down next to the glasses, moving over to where Kanda is. Threat of being hit or not. He too wants to fight. Perhaps they should both just go outside the next rainy day and punch the ever-loving shit out of each other. Maybe then Lavi could get over it. And they both would have gotten some frustration out at being so useless here.

"I'm not giving up, giving up would be drinking myself in a stupor and doing something stupid that would get myself killed. And I wouldn't care. I just... I might go crazy without something to do, Yu..."

Kanda doesn't either. He supposes that he had let himself get softer during his year plus here. Before he just didn't care about others - at least not as much as he cared to admit. This was definitely new to him, and he realized that when his twin was, what, the first to leave? And then it seemed to all go downhill from there.

They need a class or a how-to book or something, because they both come too far to start regressing. So no, no going into Bookman mode. You know Kanda won't like that at all, screw what the old man has to say.

They all need some time. Baby steps, after all. (Weird for either of them to take, considering how rash they both are.)

It's a dent that can't be filled for either of them, at least for now. They'll just have to make do until they can all find their way back to Nesreca. Kanda doesn't care if it's selfish of them to want them back. He knows, at least then, that people like Allen and Cross can stay here without worry about the Noah (not realyl anyway, with how lazy Tyki and Rhode have become) or Apocryphos.

Kanda won't hit Lavi. It's...oddly comforting to have the other around. And they could do that, definitely. Maybe even invite the older Alma, too. They could have an all-out brawl, even if Alma would have the advantage with his healing. At least then they would all feel better. Maybe they could find a deserted spot far away from the populated and frequented areas of Nesreca, too. Less chance of being found and fussed over.

"Then we'll find something to do, Lavi. There's plenty that we can find to do to keep ourselves busy in this dump."

Seems like they both need to close back up a bit, find a way to make sure it doesn't hurt as much when they leave... It sucks, it really does. But they both can't be the hard-ass, Lavi will start to leave it to Kanda again tomorrow. He knows how to pull out - you just have to pull an Allen and carry on.

Walk on.

And who knew, maybe one day they'd be returned to them. But for now they had to help hide each other's dents, pick up where the other lags and cover. Help each other more than they had been to appear normal.

...Even if he pushes you into a pit of zombies? Really? It's just what the doctor ordered, don't you think? Though there isn't really anyone to fuss over them anymore either, they can doctor their own hurts.

"We can try fixing this place up...restore it to its former glory."

Kanda's got to put on a brave face anyway, for Alma's sake. He's just not sure how much longer he can put up that facade, that everything's fine and so is he. He's not sure how Allen's done it all these years. Kanda never needed a reason to before, but now...

Ugh, this sucks. He's actually starting to hate it here, if only just a little.

They better return, or he'll just have to go out and hunt for Libitina and her freaky-ass master. Kanda doesn't care if it makes him selfish, either. Wants his 'family' back.

...No, for that he'll definitely be hitting you. And since no one's around to scold him for it except Lavi... But yes, they'll have to take care of each other, maybe take time out a couple days a week to just check on one another and offer the other silent company or something. Something comforting without actually having to do much, or...something else that would work for the two of them.

"It'll give us something to do, we'd just need to pick a place and start there. Maybe we can even get Alma to help. Both of them, anyway."

Always sucks when you have to pretend that nothing's wrong, there's no chance to get over things because there's always something to do. Somewhere to go or food to gather. For Lavi the mask isn't all that hard to wear, the same one that Allen wears as he bears the burden, it's just heavily fractured and he's not sure how much longer it'll last.

Someday they'll all be together again, that's what Lavi keeps telling himself. Here and at home. Definitely at home.

It's a good thing they're getting closer then, that way checking up on each other won't be so much of a chore. Though you should know better about Lavi being "silent" company. That and Lavi just don't go together very well when he's being a normal and happy rabbit.

"Do you think they'd do a good job at it?"

He just doesn't want to worry Alma unneedlessly. He's a child, he should have a childhood that the Order never gave him. But Kanda's not sure how to keep his own mask up either. Dealing with loss of this magnitute is definitely...new. Even when Daisya was killed in Barcelona, he had no time to properly grieve. It was shove your feelings down and continue searching for Tiedoll. Hell, now that he thinks about it he probably never properly mourned one of his very few friends that he had in the Order. This will definitely be...fun to try and deal with, especially with Alma around.

That's what Kanda's looking forward to. Pretty much all he has to look forward to.

Definitely a good thing. Hell, something would have been wrong if Allen and Kanda hadn't gotten closer during their year together here, even though they still argued and fought. And Kanda's fine with a chattery Lavi. It's like listening to Alma go on and on about the books he read and the things he discovered and experienced that day, especially before everything went to hell in the sixth lab where they were at.

Just another weak tug of his lips, "Yeah. The little one wouldn't want to disappoint. The older...well, there might be a little competitiveness there, most likely."

That's what they'll give him but they have to make this place suitable for that kind of upbringing first. It almost makes him want to take the kid over to Credinta so he'd be able to go to school and have friends his own age. But they can't. In the mean time they can learn how to deal with their mourning, take turns.

A quiet time with no wars tends to make the bonding experience a bit easier, don't you think? Fighting with any couple was to be expected as well. But Lavi will try to be silent as best he can.

"Do they get along in each other's company even?" He had them scheduled in different classes for that purpose alone.

They're trying, though, so at least it counts a little? Kanda has no problem with taking him to places around both cities. He can watch him better that way so he doesn't get into trouble. But he's been to school in Credinta before, and he liked it well enough, just sucks that he can't take him back. Heh. Take turns with mourning, that feels...a little automated.

It does. Probably how he and Allen managed to get along and even get a little closer. And just go too silent on him, Kanda might think you're shutting down on him.

"I'd think so. Should we try and set something up with the four of us and see for sure?" ..... Man that sounds like a double date.

Any kind of attempt counts, if they don't try then they've given up and that's not acceptable. Not to Lavi. But it might be worth something to look into. Find out what they'd have to do over there in order to send Alma to school. It does but it might be the only way to do it so that Alma has an "adult" that he can lean on.

He won't go too silent, that's a promise. If he does then Lavi doesn't know if he'll get out of it again.

It sort of does, "Maybe a small fishing trip..."

Giving up is never acceptable. And it is definitely something to look into. Something Kanda wants to do for Alma to help him forget that he was nothing more than a test subject at home. And at least between - mostly - himself and Allen, Alma's got the clothes to pass as a normal kid. Well, at least Alma will always have someone to lean on.

Would it help at all if Kanda hit you out of it? Please say yes, you know he'll want to do it if he sees it happen.

Sob. Do not want double date. That just sounds so weird and freaky and jdhgfjhfg. "That couldn't hurt. Shouldn't be too hard to find sticks and wire or fishing poles to steal."

And Lavi's managed to gather up an impressive wardrobe to fit in in Credinta as well, it helps when you have a regular income working as a day-laborer. Not sure if he could pull it off being an only father with a kid as old as Alma, perhaps they'd be better off asking Cross to do it since he's got a base. And his lady-friend might not mind having a kid to baby.

No, that wouldn't help at all.

"Or I could just go buy some."

...The thought of having Alma live with Cross part-time greatly disturbs Kanda. You saw how Allen turned out, man. It's just such a disturbing thought it makes Kanda shudder.

Nope.

"... Whatever works, rabbit." See icon!

Well then they have to find a way (perhaps through Cross' connections) to make it so they can get Alma to school and watch over him as well.

Poking with a finger. "I thought we had a net somewhere."

You know Kanda would like for that to happen. It beats worrying about Alma while he's over there and hoping Credinta doesn't flip shit.

Batting the finger away. "I don't know. Didn't beansprout make one or something?"

Might as well try to get everyone over there then. At least all that can be over there.

"I'll have to look..." Sad again at the mention of Allen.

That would just draw attention to them at the same time, wouldn't it?

Letting out a breath before nudging Lavi with an elbow. "He'll come back."

Of course it would. So long as they all decided that they'd live in the same area. Spread out they might have more of a chance.

Looking up at him, "Hope so..."

Spreading out will end up making him anxious, with the way people are leaving. The big towering wall he came here with has definitely crumbled.

"Have hope." Probably weird to hear it from Kanda, but every time he himself says it, it kinda...helps? It makes him think way back, to his and Allen's first mission together.

That might be but did you honestly care about the majority of people here that weren't from "home"? It would be easy enough to live near one another, just take a bit of careful juggling.

Lavi lets out a strained and short laugh, giving up and giving Kanda a drape-hug. He needs this.

He's talked to a couple of them! Not that there's really...many of them left now anyway. And as long as they're within the same block then Kanda's fine. Otherwise you'll see him running all over the city to make sure someone's still around or not. He might have picked up Allen's 'are you still here and okay?' duty.

Kanda stumbles just a tad at the sudden drape-hug, obviously not expecting it. He hides a faint grin, just letting the other hang on him. They both need it.

Oh man, don't do that. It'll be weird coming from a grumpy person like you, they'll wonder if you're a tsundere. 'I wasn't worried at all, it's just a census count,' with hrmphing and turning away.

Lavi tightens his arms around Kanda, not wanting to let go of his last friend here. His hope is running out...

...But what if he wants to? It's totally something he'll end up doing, okay. You can blame Libitina if you have to blame anyone.

"Things will work out, rabbit. They always have."

Libitina gets all of the blame ever, because she's screwed them all up. They're not supposed to be broken like this. Silly tsundere.

"Just usually not in our favor..."

They're definitely not supposed to be broken up like this.

Have a light tug at your hair for that, Lavi. "Stop that."

"Stop what." He's just tired of pretending to be happy.

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