niteo_logs | (no subject)

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Characters: Kanda Yu [

looseleafbook]
When: November 25th
Where: Apartments
Rating: G
Summary: No one's harder hit than them.

Allen. Link. Cross. Mikk. All recent losses, and if Kanda wanted to go back even further, he could count his double as well. Exorcists from their world had flocked to Nesreca, and now, it seems they're all being taken away. Like the past few months and weeks were nothing but a tease, a 'game' of Libitina's. Kanda's always shrugged off loss, always quickly moved on, because that's who he was.

He's had no choice but to change the past year while he's been here. Gained time with Alma, experienced what it would be like if...Alma got to live on, as an Akuma, and as an Exorcist. Possibilities brought to light thanks to alternate universes. He actually got what you could consider, for him, close to Allen Walker. And yeah, they fought. They argued. They clashed and butted heads, like they always have. But it was never as often here. It was more 'swallow your pride and work together.'

But he cared. Losing Allen is what started it, for him.

Restless nights, continuous unease and frustration that he just couldn't find a release for. Then Link left. Then Cross, and shortly after, Mikk. His frustration and irritation at losing Cross was clearly now known by all, whether they chose to acknowledge it or not. It was there as plan as day on the network. Link and Mikk he barely knew, and didn't really care that much for. Just another piece of 'home,' as it was starting to become, while they were around.

It would definitely be nice if they could get a break from this, of people they were close with leaving. But considering their lives, how they've lived, it was probably too much to ask for.

Kanda makes his way inside of the apartments after trying meditation for an hour and a half, and he has to pause as he passes one of the doors by the front door. Room 102...didn't have a name. He just stood there, staring for a long moment. 'Allen Walker' was still very faintly visible if you knew where to look. Now, the newest name, Lenalee's, was wiped.

Oh you had to be fucking kidding him. You have to be fucking kidding.

He didn't know if it was a good thing he wasn't feeling much emotion at discovering another departure. Yeah, he was a little angry. Lenalee didn't deserve to be sent back home, where she was likely being overworked with so few Exorcists left. She could at least rest here, even if she hated it here. He knew that being here was stressful for her, grating on her sanity. He wasn't blind to that. He tried to support here where he could, after all. He was sure everyone else here did, too, in their own way. Save for the Noah, anyway.

...Maybe she really was better off there, though. With Komui. In her proper Home, even if he wouldn't be there.

Ahhh, this sucks. Kanda's shoulders slumped a bit before he continued on to the stairs, climbing up all flights in order to reach Lavi's room. He had simply planned to ask for a spar, considering how hard Lavi had been taking the losses too, but...

Sparring may end up having to wait, once Kanda tells the redhead the news. And as he stood in front of Lavi's door, part of him was dreading it. Might as well tell him now, since he'll find out eventually anyway.

So he lifts up a hand and just. knocks on the door, hoping the other is actually in his room and not out somewhere moping and brooding.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Always sucks when you have to pretend that nothing's wrong, there's no chance to get over things because there's always something to do. Somewhere to go or food to gather. For Lavi the mask isn't all that hard to wear, the same one that Allen wears as he bears the burden, it's just heavily fractured and he's not sure how much longer it'll last.

Someday they'll all be together again, that's what Lavi keeps telling himself. Here and at home. Definitely at home.

It's a good thing they're getting closer then, that way checking up on each other won't be so much of a chore. Though you should know better about Lavi being "silent" company. That and Lavi just don't go together very well when he's being a normal and happy rabbit.

"Do you think they'd do a good job at it?"

He just doesn't want to worry Alma unneedlessly. He's a child, he should have a childhood that the Order never gave him. But Kanda's not sure how to keep his own mask up either. Dealing with loss of this magnitute is definitely...new. Even when Daisya was killed in Barcelona, he had no time to properly grieve. It was shove your feelings down and continue searching for Tiedoll. Hell, now that he thinks about it he probably never properly mourned one of his very few friends that he had in the Order. This will definitely be...fun to try and deal with, especially with Alma around.

That's what Kanda's looking forward to. Pretty much all he has to look forward to.

Definitely a good thing. Hell, something would have been wrong if Allen and Kanda hadn't gotten closer during their year together here, even though they still argued and fought. And Kanda's fine with a chattery Lavi. It's like listening to Alma go on and on about the books he read and the things he discovered and experienced that day, especially before everything went to hell in the sixth lab where they were at.

Just another weak tug of his lips, "Yeah. The little one wouldn't want to disappoint. The older...well, there might be a little competitiveness there, most likely."

That's what they'll give him but they have to make this place suitable for that kind of upbringing first. It almost makes him want to take the kid over to Credinta so he'd be able to go to school and have friends his own age. But they can't. In the mean time they can learn how to deal with their mourning, take turns.

A quiet time with no wars tends to make the bonding experience a bit easier, don't you think? Fighting with any couple was to be expected as well. But Lavi will try to be silent as best he can.

"Do they get along in each other's company even?" He had them scheduled in different classes for that purpose alone.

They're trying, though, so at least it counts a little? Kanda has no problem with taking him to places around both cities. He can watch him better that way so he doesn't get into trouble. But he's been to school in Credinta before, and he liked it well enough, just sucks that he can't take him back. Heh. Take turns with mourning, that feels...a little automated.

It does. Probably how he and Allen managed to get along and even get a little closer. And just go too silent on him, Kanda might think you're shutting down on him.

"I'd think so. Should we try and set something up with the four of us and see for sure?" ..... Man that sounds like a double date.

Any kind of attempt counts, if they don't try then they've given up and that's not acceptable. Not to Lavi. But it might be worth something to look into. Find out what they'd have to do over there in order to send Alma to school. It does but it might be the only way to do it so that Alma has an "adult" that he can lean on.

He won't go too silent, that's a promise. If he does then Lavi doesn't know if he'll get out of it again.

It sort of does, "Maybe a small fishing trip..."

Giving up is never acceptable. And it is definitely something to look into. Something Kanda wants to do for Alma to help him forget that he was nothing more than a test subject at home. And at least between - mostly - himself and Allen, Alma's got the clothes to pass as a normal kid. Well, at least Alma will always have someone to lean on.

Would it help at all if Kanda hit you out of it? Please say yes, you know he'll want to do it if he sees it happen.

Sob. Do not want double date. That just sounds so weird and freaky and jdhgfjhfg. "That couldn't hurt. Shouldn't be too hard to find sticks and wire or fishing poles to steal."

And Lavi's managed to gather up an impressive wardrobe to fit in in Credinta as well, it helps when you have a regular income working as a day-laborer. Not sure if he could pull it off being an only father with a kid as old as Alma, perhaps they'd be better off asking Cross to do it since he's got a base. And his lady-friend might not mind having a kid to baby.

No, that wouldn't help at all.

"Or I could just go buy some."

...The thought of having Alma live with Cross part-time greatly disturbs Kanda. You saw how Allen turned out, man. It's just such a disturbing thought it makes Kanda shudder.

Nope.

"... Whatever works, rabbit." See icon!

Well then they have to find a way (perhaps through Cross' connections) to make it so they can get Alma to school and watch over him as well.

Poking with a finger. "I thought we had a net somewhere."

You know Kanda would like for that to happen. It beats worrying about Alma while he's over there and hoping Credinta doesn't flip shit.

Batting the finger away. "I don't know. Didn't beansprout make one or something?"

Might as well try to get everyone over there then. At least all that can be over there.

"I'll have to look..." Sad again at the mention of Allen.

That would just draw attention to them at the same time, wouldn't it?

Letting out a breath before nudging Lavi with an elbow. "He'll come back."

Of course it would. So long as they all decided that they'd live in the same area. Spread out they might have more of a chance.

Looking up at him, "Hope so..."

Spreading out will end up making him anxious, with the way people are leaving. The big towering wall he came here with has definitely crumbled.

"Have hope." Probably weird to hear it from Kanda, but every time he himself says it, it kinda...helps? It makes him think way back, to his and Allen's first mission together.

That might be but did you honestly care about the majority of people here that weren't from "home"? It would be easy enough to live near one another, just take a bit of careful juggling.

Lavi lets out a strained and short laugh, giving up and giving Kanda a drape-hug. He needs this.

He's talked to a couple of them! Not that there's really...many of them left now anyway. And as long as they're within the same block then Kanda's fine. Otherwise you'll see him running all over the city to make sure someone's still around or not. He might have picked up Allen's 'are you still here and okay?' duty.

Kanda stumbles just a tad at the sudden drape-hug, obviously not expecting it. He hides a faint grin, just letting the other hang on him. They both need it.

Oh man, don't do that. It'll be weird coming from a grumpy person like you, they'll wonder if you're a tsundere. 'I wasn't worried at all, it's just a census count,' with hrmphing and turning away.

Lavi tightens his arms around Kanda, not wanting to let go of his last friend here. His hope is running out...

...But what if he wants to? It's totally something he'll end up doing, okay. You can blame Libitina if you have to blame anyone.

"Things will work out, rabbit. They always have."

Libitina gets all of the blame ever, because she's screwed them all up. They're not supposed to be broken like this. Silly tsundere.

"Just usually not in our favor..."

They're definitely not supposed to be broken up like this.

Have a light tug at your hair for that, Lavi. "Stop that."

"Stop what." He's just tired of pretending to be happy.

"Being pessimistic. Isn't that my job?" Whereas Kanda never really tried to put up that kind of front before now. Notsofun times.

"You took my job." What else is he supposed to do if you take his optimism?

"So we'll share it." Hey, he just reflects back! He's not really optimistic, not on the level Lavi usually is.

Just a snort out of him and a tighter hug again.

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