(no subject)

[1mistress_nomaster]

Characters: Elizabeth Tudor, Open
When: [Forward Dated to:] 19th of May
Where: Her sewing chair, common room thing.
Rating: PG
Summary: Feels. Alcohol. How depressing it is to have all your stories end in "and then they were executed." Also: drinking from mid morning is perfectly acceptable for Tudor-times. Triggery? For executions and general horribleness? 

Elizabeth prided herself on her mask. Chipped as it was in places, it did not take much for her to smile and cover almost every ill completely until something made her snap. To breeze by like she was unaffected when otherwise her heart was in her throat. So when it slipped, she was left at the strangest feeling of vulnerability. Today happened to be one of those days, where it felt like it was falling out of her hands again, when for sheer anniversaries sake, her mind strayed from her otherwise tight hold. She couldn’t find the energy to be her usual self, her hair was left free, her dress plain black and as she took up her usual seat for sewing, it felt a physical effort to summon a smile. She longed for company, but had long since lost the ability to ask for it.

Her design for sewing was simple, and selfishly only for her, though she’d promised to do things for others (they were at a bundle in a basket next to her chair). A swan with red edging. The mundane action let her mind drift, and the more it drifted, the more she drank, forgetting to even eat. A glass for her fierce mother, whose bold day it was. Another for her father, and Jane Seymour. Half a bottle for Katherine Howard, another half for her brother and sister. A bitter mouthful for Thomas Seymour and Katherine Parr. It became almost calculated. Dudley, Wolsingham, and the decision she had to make. Duty, her country and loneliness. The horror of being in this place, when speaking to Thor and Loki had made her miss her home so much.

By the time she reached half way through the third bottle some time had passed, she was feeling light headed and she sunk back into the chair. She longed for home, of her ladies to sit with, as they laughed over this Lord or that Lady. She fell into memories, and found solace like that. The sewing fell out of her hands, the red thread unravelling as it hit the ground, the swan missing all but it’s head, she drifted off into a unhappy doze, light as it was. The bottles and her half filled glass by her feet, rather telling proof of how much she had drunk. There was enough left, that someone else could have a glass too, should they want it.

Comments

[azrthmtrnznthos]

Rare enough that Raven was uneasy--usually any feelings of anxiety were the fault of others, and easily filtered out--as all emotions were--so she did not feel or lose control of her powers. Some of this unease likely came from the fact the river was flooding...others were likely general malaise all the residents seemed to feel, herself included. It still left her feeling a need to move, to do something.

She'd scouted the river's flooding, and now was back in the building, wandering aimlessly. Which was how she stumbled now on Elizabeth. A vague sense of intrusion permeated the scene--no one else was meant to see this, and yet it cried out for someone to talk to, as well. Or so it seemed to Raven, as she moved over and gently called Elizabeth's name. Hoping to wake her.

[1mistress_nomaster]

The call of her name made her frown in her sleep, before she jerked away, eyes staring up and flatly accusing, like they expected to see someone else standing there. "What do you want Norf -- oh, sorry my lady. Forgive me. I thought you were someone else." Bit silly really, she looked nothing like Norfolk.

Elizabeth immediately brought a hand up to her head. The alcohol wasn't wearing off even slightly. Just been made worse and she cleared the sleep from her eyes to wake herself up. She forced herself up in her chair, though it was a little bit sluggish.

"How goes it with you?" The question came out on habit.

[azrthmtrnznthos]

"Respectfully, I should be asking you that, Majesty."

Yep, Raven had definitely intruded...hence the formality. She hesitated with herself for a moment, noting again the bottles--empty and half-full. "I can help your headache...if you wanted."

[1mistress_nomaster]

"I'm fine, honestly." Holding onto that mask if her life depended on it.

Shaking her head, she smiled wryly. "The headache won't come till much later. I'm just foxed." Being polite about it. "Completely and utterly. Haven't been this bad since I was fourteen, can you imagine?" She picked her sewing again, the swan with no head.

The stitches were so little. How had on earth had she been managing that?

[azrthmtrnznthos]

Well, Raven wouldn't push, even if she knew differently. "This place taxes us all, I imagine. Even when there is nothing happening, that is often the problem." Trying to offer an out, for Elizabeth to take if she wished. A way to broach the source of the malaise, without digging deeper.

"What are you crafting?"

[1mistress_nomaster]

"It isn't this place that drives me to drink, if that's what you think," she shook her head, giving up the sewing because she honestly couldn't focus on such little things right now.

"Was crafting. A swan. Though at this point, it's a swan with no head. I guess it's going to end up dinner." For her father too, ha. Immediately she couldn't stand to look at the thing. She put it down again, finding the red thread that had run away and twining it around her fingers in a hurried way that was messy because of her state.

"Do you want some wine, I think there is a little left. But I've no glass for you." She'd have to get that for herself, Elizabeth wasn't sure she wanted to stand up right now.

[azrthmtrnznthos]

"I'm not much of a drinker, honestly...I'm here more for the company, if that's alright." Rare that Raven enjoyed company, but it would help all the same. "I'm not sure swan would be a good choice...too many people here to feed. Okumura-san has caught many geese though, if that'd work."

[1mistress_nomaster]

"It's fine. I'd like the company." It wasn't a lie, she wanted the distraction.

"Swans are about the same as geese. They are better in pies though. But the court chefs make such amazing things." She felt so sick saying that, and she put the whole thing away. Discarded onto the basket of sewing.

"It's strange though, Swans are the most vicious creatures, you wouldn't know it too look at them." They looked so serene, but she'd been chased by one when she had strayed too close to a nest on one occasion.

[azrthmtrnznthos]

"It doesn't surprise me, really." Ornithology hadn't been something Raven had studied per se, but with the amount that she read? Not at all surprising.

"Lots of things don't look like they really are though. Looks can be deceiving."

[1mistress_nomaster]

"That swans make lovely pies? Or that they are as big as geese?" She was just a little slow right now, but it was to be expected.

"That's the trick to rulership. Perceived austerity." Her laughter was sarcastic, though. "Make yourself more then a man, and people think you're invincible, even when you're not."

THIS SET UP LOOKS FAMILIAR.

[outsidehistory]

Lavi was worried, he hadn't heard nor seen Elizabeth all day and he'd seen her for at least a few seconds every day since she'd arrived. Just a passing hello. A smile and a wave. Anything he could to remind her she wasn't alone in a place where company was not always constant like it was at home. It was a hard transition going from never being alone to almost always being alone. So he was worried.

When he finds Elizabeth passed out in the chair he does his best to quietly clean up the bottles and the glass, pouring the wine back into the bottle. For just a short moment he thinks about taking a swig of it but then shakes his head, putting it back down on the table. He glances at Elizabeth and lightly puts his hand on her arm, "Majesty..."

If she won't wake he'll try - the keyword here is try - to carry her to her apartment room as carefully as he can.

JUST A LITTLE. Sob. Except Elizabeth is a whole lot less happy right now. >.> & type fixing

[1mistress_nomaster]

She starts awake when she hears that. Sitting up in her chair in surprise, clutching at her skirts in a rather horrid moment of shock.

Lavi. Here. Nescera. Not the tower. Everything was all right. Except Lavi... he hadn't told her. She didn't expect to know everything about him, that was unfair. Except from what he said, he probably new everything about her anyway. She was history, to him, it was probably recorded all in some neat book somewhere. It just wasn't fair, and she was intoxicated enough to be selfish, to not hold her temper

"My lord. What on earth are you doing?"

/snuggles her up tight

[outsidehistory]

In retrospect he should have said her name or "my lady" but the latter still might have elicited such a response. To make up for it he tries to smile reassuringly at her, putting his hand over hers as he crouches nearby.

"Trying to make sure that you do not wake with a crick in your neck," Lavi straightens and holds out his hand, "Would you like me to help you to your room?"

;; just going to apologise for all of this now. Dat temper.

[1mistress_nomaster]

"No, I'm fine." She wasn't sure even she believed that, but she was well past caring. Her pretence was everything to her sanity at least.

Cynical, she looked up at him, there was things she wanted to know. "Tell me, what else do you do beside record history in your home?" She might forgive him, if he admitted it flat out. She wasn't sure, she might still yell anyway.

/gathers

[outsidehistory]

Lavi is...a little unsure to say the least to see such an expression on Elizabeth's face, even if she's drunk. He's not seen it on her before and it raises the question of what exactly did he miss now?

His hand drops at the question and he sighs a little, raising it again to rub at his face, "I'm an Exorcist for the Black Order, an organization run by the Catholic church. Kanda and both of the generals are also a part of it."

/snuggles

[1mistress_nomaster]

"So Rin was telling me the truth? You do really fight demons then? You and Cross, and Kanda, but I hardly care to talk to him or him, me." It always felt like a failure when she wasn't liked by someone, because that was her job and kept her safe, was to please others. Even if she didn't want to.

Not that Elizabeth cared for pleasing anyone right now. "Why didn't you tell me all of it?"

[outsidehistory]

Oh boy, thanks Rin. Lavi sighs, "We do fight demons, all of the Black Order fights to save the world. We are different than Rin's sort of Exorcists. Only a weapon made of a certain material can hurt or destroy them and their masters..." Kanda is just an extremely hard person to get to know, "Do not feel bad about not being able to talk to Yu, he is...not easy to get to open up. Even I have problems."

Lavi sits on a nearby chair, "I did not speak of it because I did not realize that it was important. My primary job is to record history as a Bookman. The Order and the Innocence I carry are part of that."

[1mistress_nomaster]

She goes very quiet for awhile, fingers still scrunched up in her skirts, knuckles white. She hadn't touched him at all. It felt so wrong to be betrayed over so small a thing, but it hurt for whatever strange reason. Couldn't place it to her need for control or just frustration again at what she was, but alcohol made those sort of things irrelevant.

"It must be so nice to have secrets. How does that feel, to not have the whole world pawing through your open draws like it has a damn place to be there?"

[outsidehistory]

"My lady must forgive me when I say that I do not have much of a life to talk about at all. I do not have much of a 'self'. When all you do is record wars from the age of six you start to hate humans and close yourself off to their stupidity." His voice grows a bit cold and hard, face closed off. Now she might notice his face is paler than normal, his hands clammy when they had touched her. He's ill from saving material from the flooded river's reach.

"War, no matter the players, is a horrid thing and I did not want to ruin any happiness your majesty might find here. I thought that the wars of my home should stay as they were, of my home. Even here we have put aside the war despite one of the demons' masters being in our presence. There is no reason to fight here, it is not your majesty's war and I am not your majesty's subject."

Lavi gets to his feet abruptly, "I had thought that I was your friend, but now I see otherwise. Forgive me for waking you." He turns and walks toward the door, perhaps he can get Kanda to spar with him - cold or not.

[wineandwomen]

He had stopped over to check on something with Alma about his lessons that was when he saw Elizabeth... When he was heading out. A small frown crossed his features when he caught sight of the empty bottles and he moved over to her, examining the area by her. The general picked up the bottles carefully, moving them from the floor before returning for the glass.

"Elizabeth?" He dropped formalities, even in such a public place... He was concerned for her with how much wine she had consumed, Cross was afraid she would be sick. Not to mention make awful choices if left here by herself for too long.

Cross leaned forward, a hand going to the queen's cheek, stroking gently with his thumb. "Lizzie... Come on lovely. I should get you to your room..."

[1mistress_nomaster]

Drunk as she was, half asleep too, the hand on her face, the familiarity of it, her own name for once and the endearment, was nice. She turned into it a little, murmuring back softly as her lips caught the edge of his thumb, even if it was incoherent. Smiling with it, for just a second, before her mind caught up with her.

There were so few people that ever touched her like that, even fewer men, and if Lady Katherine caught them, if anyone did, she was just a girl and no one would listen. She did not want -- "Seymour, leave me alone." She shoved the hand away, before she opened her eyes properly and she realised her mistake.

"Your grace?" Damn it. "Forgive me, I was far away. What are you doing here? How did you get across the river?" Flooded as it was.

[wineandwomen]

He hadn't been expecting the tired murmurs from Elizabeth. Let alone those where he was called another name. Thinking back through his history, Cross couldn't help but feel a bit indignant at who he was called. He most certainly was not like that horrible man.

By the time she had fully woken up, the hand was gone from her face. He had liked the brush of lips against his thumb but it had been taken from his mind at her tired words. Cross straightened and resumed his straightening up, returning Elizabeth's project to her hands.

"I came to check on Alma's studies. That is all. I should get you to your room and help you to bed. I think you need a real dose of sleep, you highness." A bit cold. Defensive. For some reason, he couldn't bring himself back to the moment before where he had been gentle and affectionate in words and actions.

[1mistress_nomaster]

"You're right, I probably do." She kept her eyes down, off him. Looking at him was always so hard. Awake at least, she felt a little ashamed for just leaning into him like that.

But now came the issue, she wasn't even sure if she could. Stand up, and asking for help when he seemed so distant was impossible. It stung her pride. She didn't know what she had done to upset him so. Was it calling him Seymour? That didn't make any sense at all. But...

"Sorry for mistaking you my lord. I was just... in my memories for awhile." She shook her head. "You can go. I'll be fine." She wouldn't keep him if he didn't want to be here.

[wineandwomen]

It was, without warning, that Cross returned to Elizabeth, one hand going behind her back, the other slipping under her legs to pick her up gently. Standing back up, the exorcist kept the queen close, mindful that he held her in a way that didn't cause her to lose her embroidery.

"You are drunk, Elizabeth. Not all of what you say is why you intend right now." He's not sure if he wants to stay or go... For now he just wants to make sure he gets her some place safe. Namely her own apartment.

[1mistress_nomaster]

How did this keep happening? She felt so deceptively frail around him. So useless, and it made her beat a fist very weakly against his chest, knowing it probably didn't hurt him at all, but still, she should protest. "Your grace I can walk." She doesn't believe it either. But even in her mind at least, she had to do something to ease her pride.

But gave up instantly to actually having someone hold her. Even if logically he probably didn't even want to, he was just doing because he was a kind thing to do. Men were so stupidly chivalrous sometimes. She rested her head against him. Being moved so much made her head spin and she grunted softly from it. Good god, nothing made sense right now. Perhaps he was right, in which case... "... You are like a lot of men I know, but then nothing at all. It's most strange and I have no idea what to make of you at all. You confuse me." They were her thoughts mostly, at present, whether he wanted to know them or not.