niteo_logs | (no subject)

Current Mood: lethargic

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Characters: Lavi (

looseleafbook) and anyone else
When: May 30th
Where: North of the schools close to the river
Rating: PG?
Summary: Lavi sulking and hiding away from everyone.

Lavi had avoided the apartment building for the past couple of days, the past week. Instead roaming around the deserted streets full of debris and the past civilization. Sometimes he would roam across the bridge in clothing similar to the current styles over there, redhair and patch hidden from sight with a hooded sweatshirt.

But for now he was hidden way back in the most damaged streets of the city, a trolly car that had been derailed in whatever happened. Hidden from sight unless one looked as he slouched on the bench seat, feet on one end while he leaned against the wall. Several times he had come here to sleep, it was still cold out, too cold to camp like he was, but Lavi forced himself to ignore it.

Being alone and cold was preferred to being warm and bothered.

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"Pure, sentient Innocence. He had this aura―"

Allen doesn't finish his sentence, there's no need to. Any Exorcist who's been in the presence of a Critical will be familiar with that tingling, hair-raising feeling, and if the Cardinal's made of pure Innocence, one can only imagine how much stronger it must've felt. He tugs off his left glove as he speaks and rolls his sleeve up, a silent answer to Lavi's unvoiced question. No, Crown Clown isn't damaged. The threat runs deeper than that.

"He didn't say, but I'm guessing the Vatican sent him. Some branch of the Vatican that even Link knew nothing about."

He pauses then, because this is the first time he's realising that if Link had no idea, L'vllie probably had nothing to do with it, and isn't that a disturbing thought.

"...And Lavi, I think the Vatican's known where the Heart is all along. The Apocryphos was talking about the Heart as if he knew them personally."

Lavi hadn't noticed it being that at the time, he had simply thought it was because the man was so close to the god that he worshiped. The similar presence - but not quite alike - around such highly ranked men of religion that he had indifferently shrugged off now made sense.

He glances at Allen's hand, feeling reassured by its normal appearance that the Innocence was still alright. "Religious organizations do that, hide things from their 'sheep' that need not know what they're doing for the 'betterment of the flock' and all of that..."

The redhead lets out a sigh and rubs at his head, it's possible that L'ville knew briefly about it but to him it had just been words. Nothing that he personally knew about like Hevlaska and everything else, he might have not been ranked high enough to know or to have his questions answered. Everyone had someone else to answer to, even him, and they kept secrets too.

"So if none of us know the Apocryphos while it's masquerading as the Cardinal it can't be any of us. Or anyone we know... It couldn't be the Vatican, could it?"

Allen shakes his head, but in agreement.

"Afraid I don't know any better than you do. Assuming the Heart is with the Vatican, they would have kept it hidden so the Earl can't find it. Rhode and Tyki did say the Apocryphos is a clue to the Heart, one they've been searching for for seven thousand years... Ah, they broke into the Order to get me. That's how they saw the Apocryphos for themselves."

He pauses and blinks, "They broke into the Order to rescue you?" Wait is that-- "That why we have a truce with them at the moment?"

A matching pause and blink.

"Ah, no. I set that up before any of us knew what was going on back home―" His voice gets a little firmer. "―because there's no point in fighting here, and there're people from other worlds to think of. It's just better for everyone this way."

"We don't want to drag them into our fights kind of thing?" He's trying with the truce, Lavi really is. But he and Rhode simply do not get along, Tyki...there's banter but is mostly harmless and the lazy man generally leaves Lavi alone. Maybe it's a grudge against her messing with his head back in the Ark.

"It wouldn't be fair to them, having to put up with our world's problems when they've already been torn from theirs. Rhode and Tyki didn't ask to be brought here either. The war doesn't even exist here. Fighting here isn't going to change anything back home, just give us more to deal with on top of everything else. If the truce's a way for us to work on finding a way back together, or at least not have to constantly watch our backs here, I'd rather give it a shot."

Lavi grunts, turning his head to lean it against the frame that once held a window, "Then tell Rhode to lay off."

This whole not looking at him business is really getting to Allen.

"I've been. It's just―" Cuts off, worrying at his lower lip, hating how it sounds like he's picking sides. Which he isn't, honest, but the Exorcists need to understand what he's about to say.

"...I can't be around to do that all the time." Though he tries, God knows he tries. "Rhode's just as frustrated about being trapped here as we are, and she's a Noah. If you push her buttons, she's going to lash back at you."

It's a human reaction, because the Noah are still human, but with an utter lack of sympathy and the ability to bite a lot harder. If it wasn't for the truce, Allen's sure Rhode would have attacked Lavi with a lot more than words. He heaves a quiet sigh, running a hand through his hair.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is ― please be careful."

It's not really about not looking at Allen, honestly. He's just tired and wants to go home already, "I haven't tried to push her buttons, Allen. Not to mention she seems to think I'm watching her every move when I haven't been. I've got my own concerns to take care of."

There isn't much he can say to this beyond what he has already said the other night. He turns to gaze out the window as well, rubbing his nose a bit.

"...I know you weren't trying to, Lavi."

It really is the most unfortunate thing about all of this. Allen understands Lavi had been contributing, in his own way. Family just happens to be a touchy subject with Rhode, and she was already high-strung from the event, which had made her feel hunted -- the only Noah living among a group of Exorcists. Tyki's recent departure made it worse.

"I'll talk to her about it." See if she can put a little more faith in the truce. See if they can all do the same.

Lavi reaches out and ruffles Allen's hair, "Don't worry about it, alright? You've got enough on your plate without harassing her too. I'll just avoid the little runt."

Even if he called her such things, Lavi in no way underestimated her since he had seen some of her power first hand. Which was why he cut the feed or ignored her as best he could. In no way did he want to get into another situation like that.

This is a look Allen has worn before, but rarely, all too rarely ― and he's wearing it now. That semi-blank, artless look of gentle surprise at the fact that someone would be kind to him when he's trying to be it all (and often falling a straining arm's length short).

He can't remember the last time anyone told him not to worry. Not back home, and certainly not here. He's never on the receiving end.

Now that he is, though, he sadly isn't going to listen. There are days when it seems Nesreca is only held together by his ability to think of and worry about everything ever, and his ever-expanding capacity for all kinds of crap. But he does appreciate everything about the gesture, those simple words and that simpler contact.

Edited 2011-06-26 12:23 (UTC)

So Lavi gets to muss his hair up a bit more than usual before Allen ducks his head, making a token swat at the other boy's hand. Just because.

"Sounds like a plan, except she's bound to harrass me sometime. Might as well make sure something productive comes of it."

Lavi honestly does appreciate Allen's kindness, he's just always so unsure with it and how he's supposed to accept it that he just ends up trying to return some of it. But telling him not to worry? That's the big-brother part of the redhead that seems to well up whenever there's a difficult situation facing them both. He should try to shoulder it first, or at least most or part of it, he'd feel like a lazy bum if he just let Allen hold onto it. And he never got the chance to try back home. All he could do was just joke around like a big-brother might, never got to do any of the other stuff that he had read about and seen.

Hand batted away Lavi lets it settle in a companion-like squeeze on Allen's shoulder and then pulls it back to himself. "Yeah, but don't take it up with her until then, alright? If you're going to talk to her wait until a whole bunch of things need to be said. We can take care of ourselves until then, don't you think?"

If there's one thing Allen can say about Nesreca, it's that it is full of firsts. Without the war, the Order, or Bookman here, maybe Lavi will get his chance to feel more comfortable about being something more than make pretend. Allen will help ― it's easy when he doesn't know to expect otherwise.

"If you say so," he answers with a light jab to Lavi's arm, tone a study in mock disbelief. Just a bit of good natured ribbing between friends. Friends whom he'll have to trust to take care of themselves until―

(Long way to go, Allen.)

"...But there's something else you ought to know, Lavi. I left the Order."

―he comes home.

Time would tell whether or not the apprentice did let himself enjoy things the way that he shouldn't.

But here is a face that goes into disbelieving blankness. "Yo-you..."

"You left the Order?"

This was something that Lavi really couldn't believe - okay, on one hand with everything he was just told, he could, but - the Order was Allen's home more so than it was Lavi's.

He was supposed to be there!

The Order without Allen was... Empty, really. It wasn't home. Especially now that Lavi knew that Kanda was somewhere with Alma and he himself was captured. Lenalee was...all alone.

Yes, there were other Exorcists around. But the four of them... Two of them had at least been together. Never all four apart. Not since they had all met.

Lavi quiets down, shuts down his shock and hides it. He knows the reasons why Allen could have left, honestly he would have left too if he were in the younger teen's shoes.

So he just lowers his head a little and his hands tighten into fists, frustrated at not being able to do anything.

"I understand... Any...any idea when you'll go back, if at all?"

"I'm sorry I couldn't stay."

Five trite words, packed with so much sincerity it kind of stings. Allen trusts Lavi, believes that he really does understand, which is all the more reason to apologise and explain the state of things.

"Link had to break us all out of prison before the Apocryphos could erase me, but the moment we ran, the Order declared me a Noah." He pauses, looking down at his clothes, at the obvious lack of anything associating him with the Order. Not even his boots are Order-issued. "I'm not officially an Exorcist anymore."

Strange, how hearing that initial outburst of disbelief from a friend can make him feel so immensely guilty, even though he doesn't regret his decision. Circumstances have made it all too clear that it was for the best. It only drives home the fact that he has come to consider these people his home; that for a boy whose entire life is built on never standing still long enough for his problems to catch up with him, the idea of staying has finally become one worth risking. And stay he will, one day ― he just has some things to handle first. Starting by making it clear that he'll be back.

Resisting the sudden, inconveniently-timed urge to bite his lip, he reaches across the divide to place a hand lightly on Lavi's forearm, giving it a little squeeze. Just a simple gesture, but Allen knows what it's like to feel helpless, and― Well, maybe they can at least face it together.

"I don't know how long it'll take. There's a lot to be done, and I've only just begun." A deep breath. "But I'll be back, I promise."

He hears the sincerity in Allen's words, it does make itself known pretty well. Knows that given the choice between leaving and staying even with the war ending - if it ever did - that Allen would be one of those that would stay. Stay with the people that accepted him and loved him, wanted to make sure he was safe. And for a brief moment Lavi wishes that it could be that way for himself as well, but knows that his job would pull him away from everything and everyone he had come to care for.

"W-wait... Two-spot was the one that broke you out of prison?" Th-that sets Lavi out of his little bit of grief and sorrow for the moment. He had never thought that Link, the Vatican's dog in a way, would ever do such a thing. But then again the Inspector had been around Allen for so long now that he knew that Allen was their best chance of winning the war, knew he was one of the strongest fighters out there right now beside the Generals, Kanda, and Lenalee. If he truly wanted to see the war ended, Link might have pushed past all his training and his love for adhering to the rules to let Allen and Timcanpy out. "You're not a Noah, though. I haven't even seen Fourteenth since I've gotten here... You're still Allen..."

Lavi's tone suggests that Allen will always be an Exorcist to the redhead, there's no other way for him to see the younger teen. But now he knows that Allen definitely plans on coming back, betrayed by the Order - by home - or not, he was going back. Lavi grinned a little and put his hand on top of Allen's for a brief squeeze and then puts his arm around Allen's shoulders so that he can use the hand to ruffle at that mop of hair.

"So long as you come back, yeah? Sure Lenalee'd appreciate it if you brought some of us back as well." He hesitates for a moment, growing serious again, "Where are you going to go now, though?"

If Allen ever finds out? It would make his heart break for Lavi, then words would be had, and continents liable to be flipped. But that's an issue best saved for another day, if ever. All he knows is that Lavi's a comrade, a friend, family that he fully expects to come home to (and maybe, just maybe, get to keep).

"Link," he corrects automatically. It's a pittance of a repayment for all that Link has done (the word 'sacrificed' is always lurking at the forefront of his mind) for him back home and in Nesreca, but it's one of the very few things Allen can still do for him now. "The Apocryphos overpowered me and Tyki. It... Probably would have combined with Crown Clown if Rhode hadn't intervened by taking a blow for me. But yes, things could have gone even further South if Link didn't help us es― Hey."

He makes a face and ducks, though if Lavi catches a glimpse of his expression under all that unruly white hair, he'll realise Allen's also grinning a little despite himself. He straightens soon enough, the smile playing about his lips subdued but heartfelt.

"...Thank you." Not for telling him he isn't a Noah ― Allen doesn't need to be told ― but for the implicit trust that comes with Lavi's statement. The kind of unconditional trust he gets just for being 'still Allen'. It's good to be reminded that it's all it takes for some people to believe in him.

He looks Lavi in the eye then, and says, with all the gravity of a promise, "I will."

―Come back and bring some of them with him if he can. It was the first thing he vowed to Rhode when Lavi returned to Nesreca two months ago, bearing news of an ambush in China: 'I'll get them back.' How, though, is the question here. Allen isn't terribly worried ― he's still alive, still walking on. That's all the start he needs.

"I'm not sure yet, but I was on my way to find one of Master's patrons before Libitina brought me back. She'll know which direction to point me in―"

An artless smile, one that should look chagrined for its obvious tinge of 'what-else-can-you-do', but somehow comes across as comfortable instead.

"―then I guess I'll just keep going."

It's not that Lavi can help it, it's what he was raised to do after all, and its' all he knows in the end. He has no job skills outside of the Clan that would help him set up life in a normal fashion, especially seeing what he's seen. They'd probably find a way to wipe his memories and he'd be left sitting in a corner with glazed over eyes, not a way he wants to live his life. Not to mention Allen has to find him and Bookman first if they don't get released, but maybe they're the bait after information is gotten about Fourteenth.

He shrugs it off, Link will forever be "two-spot" to Lavi regardless of what he's done. It's meant to annoy the Inspector after all and it does a very good job at it. "...It overpowered Tyki?" Okay, now you're spinning tall tales because there's no way really that Lavi can see that happening, even if Apocryphos is pure, sentient Innocence.

In a way...Lavi will always believe and trust in Allen, all the way to the end of things. He's the one that keeps heading on even though things are shit and they've lost a third of their party, Allen's always got that "we can do this" feeling. That bit of hope that makes it easier to keep on going, to keep following him. He's never seen it in anyone else when they're faced with such adversity as this, even now he's like it despite having had to leave his home and comrades behind because they turned their backs on him. Allen still hasn't given up on them and it impacts Lavi the most. Especially when you take into account all the wars he's seen, all the leaders or fighters that could have made a difference turning around because they've been faced with these things. None of them had gone on like Allen.

Things like that and things like Allen's smile, still so genuine, with such a hard topic. Lavi returns the smile, an actual smile, and ruffles his hair once more. Just keep walking, Allen.

"Folks out there still dote on him?" But, it doesn't sound like they hate Allen for the debts left behind by Cross usually. They had to be nice folks...right? "Just so long as they take care of you while we can't..."

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XD <3

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2/3 okay i lied

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