Elizabeth Tudor (
1mistress_nomaster) wrote in
niteo_logs2012-05-16 12:12 am
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Entry tags:
(no subject)
Characters: Elizabeth Tudor, Open
When: [Forward Dated to:] 19th of May
Where: Her sewing chair, common room thing.
Rating: PG
Summary: Feels. Alcohol. How depressing it is to have all your stories end in "and then they were executed." Also: drinking from mid morning is perfectly acceptable for Tudor-times. Triggery? For executions and general horribleness?
Elizabeth prided herself on her mask. Chipped as it was in places, it did not take much for her to smile and cover almost every ill completely until something made her snap. To breeze by like she was unaffected when otherwise her heart was in her throat. So when it slipped, she was left at the strangest feeling of vulnerability. Today happened to be one of those days, where it felt like it was falling out of her hands again, when for sheer anniversaries sake, her mind strayed from her otherwise tight hold. She couldn’t find the energy to be her usual self, her hair was left free, her dress plain black and as she took up her usual seat for sewing, it felt a physical effort to summon a smile. She longed for company, but had long since lost the ability to ask for it.
Her design for sewing was simple, and selfishly only for her, though she’d promised to do things for others (they were at a bundle in a basket next to her chair). A swan with red edging. The mundane action let her mind drift, and the more it drifted, the more she drank, forgetting to even eat. A glass for her fierce mother, whose bold day it was. Another for her father, and Jane Seymour. Half a bottle for Katherine Howard, another half for her brother and sister. A bitter mouthful for Thomas Seymour and Katherine Parr. It became almost calculated. Dudley, Wolsingham, and the decision she had to make. Duty, her country and loneliness. The horror of being in this place, when speaking to Thor and Loki had made her miss her home so much.
By the time she reached half way through the third bottle some time had passed, she was feeling light headed and she sunk back into the chair. She longed for home, of her ladies to sit with, as they laughed over this Lord or that Lady. She fell into memories, and found solace like that. The sewing fell out of her hands, the red thread unravelling as it hit the ground, the swan missing all but it’s head, she drifted off into a unhappy doze, light as it was. The bottles and her half filled glass by her feet, rather telling proof of how much she had drunk. There was enough left, that someone else could have a glass too, should they want it.
When: [Forward Dated to:] 19th of May
Where: Her sewing chair, common room thing.
Rating: PG
Summary: Feels. Alcohol. How depressing it is to have all your stories end in "and then they were executed." Also: drinking from mid morning is perfectly acceptable for Tudor-times. Triggery? For executions and general horribleness?
Elizabeth prided herself on her mask. Chipped as it was in places, it did not take much for her to smile and cover almost every ill completely until something made her snap. To breeze by like she was unaffected when otherwise her heart was in her throat. So when it slipped, she was left at the strangest feeling of vulnerability. Today happened to be one of those days, where it felt like it was falling out of her hands again, when for sheer anniversaries sake, her mind strayed from her otherwise tight hold. She couldn’t find the energy to be her usual self, her hair was left free, her dress plain black and as she took up her usual seat for sewing, it felt a physical effort to summon a smile. She longed for company, but had long since lost the ability to ask for it.
Her design for sewing was simple, and selfishly only for her, though she’d promised to do things for others (they were at a bundle in a basket next to her chair). A swan with red edging. The mundane action let her mind drift, and the more it drifted, the more she drank, forgetting to even eat. A glass for her fierce mother, whose bold day it was. Another for her father, and Jane Seymour. Half a bottle for Katherine Howard, another half for her brother and sister. A bitter mouthful for Thomas Seymour and Katherine Parr. It became almost calculated. Dudley, Wolsingham, and the decision she had to make. Duty, her country and loneliness. The horror of being in this place, when speaking to Thor and Loki had made her miss her home so much.
By the time she reached half way through the third bottle some time had passed, she was feeling light headed and she sunk back into the chair. She longed for home, of her ladies to sit with, as they laughed over this Lord or that Lady. She fell into memories, and found solace like that. The sewing fell out of her hands, the red thread unravelling as it hit the ground, the swan missing all but it’s head, she drifted off into a unhappy doze, light as it was. The bottles and her half filled glass by her feet, rather telling proof of how much she had drunk. There was enough left, that someone else could have a glass too, should they want it.
no subject
Nodding, she took everything in, mentally preparing herself for the worst. What on earth did she wear under there? Did Elizabeth even care right now? It was as she had wanted, a distraction.
Though really, looking at her bare legs, she did look surprised, but that was either because she hadn't had enough to drink, or too much. It was practical, she titled her head one way, then the other. "... Don't you get cold? I'd be freezing here. My four layers of petticoats do serve a purpose, contrary to popular belief."
Oh, and for Raven's sake, trying to hold in her laughter, she pressed her fingers to her lips and mocked a gasp of surprise. "My lady, what ever would your mother say?! You'll be called a common strumpet."
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"I do, which is why I usually stay covered up. I'm pondering scavenging up some different clothing, really. I'm also decent at ignoring things though." She had to be, really.
"In any case, the chakra tend to represent spiraling vortices of energy. And one would start meditating upon them by moving from the bottom at the root," Her hand gestured, moving up along the chakra as she did so. "up to the crown. I just...wanted to show you, but it wouldn't have made sense while covering up so much."
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"I saw something like that when I was in the city across the river. It was very strange. Men here are very strange, I honestly swear they are both more and less like I remember them to be, it's a headache trying to deal with them sometimes." Boys, really, with bigger swords, and she groaned faintly at the thought of it. That was enough to give her the hung over headache already.
"Well if need any help modifying anything, or just warm clothing at all till you find something better... well, I suppose summer is coming, so it's not necessary yet. You have time to find warmer things." She shrugged. Raven would come to her if she truly needed it.
"The logic procession through the stages of being then?" Even drunk, she was quick to latch onto the concepts. They all represented something. Symbolism she understood. After that conversation with Wolsingham she she knew what had to do. That just sent her thoughts dark again, in such a irreversible way and she sighed.
"... Do you know what day it is?"
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Pausing, then asking quietly and delicately. "I...I'm a good listener. What's wrong Elizabeth?" Prepared for the queen to not open up to her, but offering all the same.
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"... It's the 19th of May. My mother was executed today. Beheaded by a sword and so died a bold death by everyone's accounts. The rest is just memories." She didn't look at Raven while she said any of this, just kept watching the dimming landscape. "Do you suppose it's wrong to find solace in memories? Even if they are not particularly good ones? Or clear any more? I loved my father, even if I perhaps ought not to. To be in his presence was like to be near the sun for awhile. So joyous, so full of life at times, it burnt you right through. I cannot explain what court is like, but it like a great nest, and all lived to see the King smile." Her mind was embellishing again, but it felt so much sweeter that way.
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That and her pride rejected every notion of asking for help for such things. She didn't know how or what she had done, but she seemed to falling into some kind of... older sister role. It seemed wrong to be weak so briefly to her own emotions. Even if privately she knew how much they ruled her.
"I do not think it will though, when everyone is so kind to me here." Well, almost everyone. She seemed to be making progress with Kanda though.
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She reached out again, and lightly brushed fingers across Raven's hair, being mindful to not go near her strange crystal again. Elizabeth liked her, very much, and she was mostly sure it wasn't just the alcohol talking.
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"If you're feeling better, bed would likely be a good idea soon, Elizabeth." It was said mildly though, as Raven was trying to be solicitous. Sometimes people needed to talk things out though, to purge their inner worries, and if Elizabeth wasn't finished with that, then Raven would wait.
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"I suppose you are right. I don't suppose you know any alchemy for me to not dream do you? I always have the same dream on such occasions, and I grow weary of watching my own execution." It's said with a tired smile, bundling up her sewing and putting it in her basket, nearly knocking her glass over. But just to make sure, she drank what was left in it, not need to waste anything.
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"Oh dear, suddenly I remember why I fell asleep in the chair. Leave the sewing. No one is going to take it after all. Just... slow steps."
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Definitely sturdier than she seemed, as she helped Elizabeth move slowly towards her room. "You'll be fine, with some rest."
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"Oh I doubt that very much. I know exactly what's waiting for me in a few hours, and it's as pleasant as a kick to the head." She laughed, though not much because she was concentrating on walking step by step out of the room, trying to think where her room was again...
"... Pox ridden, wine sodden, son of a whore, there's stairs to my room. Why stairs? I hate stairs. I am four hundred years into the future and people still have stairs." It's a muttered little outburst that gets louder in her frustration.
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"Stairs are still useful, as much as they cause you consternation." Raven murmured in response, before exercising a bit of will and creating a small disc of dark-energy. Solid enough, and she stepped on it, supporting Elizabeth and then stopping them both. "Lucky for you, I know how to help us avoid the stairs." Especially as she steadied the taller woman, when the disc moved.
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She didn't really... understand what was happening, thankfully. Else she'd have a great deal of questions. But for the moment, she just accepts it. "... well this is convenient."
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Once she got in her room, she went about getting her dresses of. Not even thinking on it as improper. She was used to there being nearly five women in the room while she was mostly naked, or completely. Still, off came the top dress, then she sighed and realised she was too tired to get the corset undone by herself.
"Do you mind unlacing it for me?" Which yes, she laced this thing by herself every morning. But then, she was adaptable.
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"Hardly. I've been wearing them since I was thirteen. If a drunk man can undo them while intemperate with lust, I've no doubt you can presently."
For her part though, it was nostalgic, and she just stood there placidly as it all came up undone, humming quietly. Meanwhile pulling her hair over her shoulder to plait it. That was an achievement in and of itself.
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Which after that was done, she turned back to Raven, smiling still calmly. "Thank-you, my dear." And with that she lent forward and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Like she had her own sister when they were still amiable. "I shall remember this kindness." Drunk as she was, she'd make an effort at least.
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"Ju..just settle for bed Elizabeth. I'll take care of making sure you don't dream." In her drunken state, would she recognize the faint-barely-there feeling of feathers against her mind as she fell asleep, that indicated Raven's presence blocking her dreams? Certainly it wasn't as if Raven would go snooping around her mind, and she herself moved to settle on the floor, cross-legged in her meditation pose.
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"You're a good one, aren't you?" She went to her bed then, curling up on her side. "Do I have to do anything?" Already her mind drifted away again. Things of court, of dancing and playing. Brought on no doubt by the calm and ease that Raven had given her.
(no subject)