In a way he's showing how naive he is because he's still a child in some respects even though he may act a man. Even learned in the ways of the world as he is, there are some things he holds that innocence about, "I try to let it warm me but some days I do not feel worthy of still being alive." He thinks of Doug and Lavi wonders if he should have died that day at the hand of his first friend, "I regret many things that I have done since starting this record..."

His mouth quirks upward slightly, "I should not have one to begin with, my lady.

"I shall have to ask her if she would spar with me then. At least they let women rule, many other women have to fight for rights."