"Eventually" is not "now" and he's not going to choose now as his eventually either. Eventually is tomorrow's horizon or the next day's or the day after that. He's never had people to get over before. Never had people this close. It hurt a lot like it did when he had to kill what Doug had become. All those memories and days relived that did nothing to help his mental stability in the long run.

It would.

It would be nice to know - at least secretly - that he was worried after and being looked for. As it is if just told that they've been missing for three months then Lavi would think that he wasn't wanted at all. That they've gone on without him. And it kills him.

Which is why he loves it here with everyone. He gets to live with them longer than he does at home now.

"I turn it off and then what? Where do I go from there?" He doesn't have anything else.