Lavi doesn't want to move forward right now, being reminded that they're gone (perhaps even permanently) is too much right now. His memories of the others are so vivid that they can't even be called memories, sometimes Lavi can go back and relive each of them. Sometimes he wishes he could just live in them, the good and bad ones. But if everyone left and he was alone...nothing would get done.

He doubts the Noah would tell anything if they knew. And he sincerely doubts that Kanda wants to inform him that he's still missing three months later. Or what has happened to Allen and Link. Time...time is so horrible to all of them.

And the time here has made Lavi wish and long for the war, a war that he's hated like all the others. All the lives being taken and yet he yearns to be able to fight again, a life without conflict was simply one he couldn't get used to. "I can't just turn it off... I've been like that since I was six."