niteo_logs | (no subject)

Characters: Kanda Yu [

promisedlotus], Y O U!
When: Backdate to Saturday, March 17th.
Where: Apartment Rooftop.
Rating: G.
Summary: Kanda and his feels and lack of duty in Nesreca.

[

"Fight.

It is your duty, as someone chosen by Innocence.

Your duty!"

Those words had been ringing in Kanda's head for what felt like days, with how slow time seems to pass in Nesreca. The reality is, though, they've only been in the forefront of his mind since morning. It was weird, he actually had a dream...about the grand generals, the only group of 'Exorcists' (Because who's to say anyone's seen them actually fight? Or is their title just for show?) uttering those lines, as if talking directly to him.

He didn't get it. He didn't get why he had the dream at all, as brief as it was, and it had been bothering him the entire day. Maybe it just...has to do with General Nine coming here, forced to stay with them (on his floor, no less), while Cross did whatever the hell he wanted.

Two Generals. Two Exorcists. No Noah.

Really...what was the point? They had nothing to fight for. Nothing to protect, really. They were just...here. Existing.

God, how he hates the feeling of deja vu. It wouldn't be the first time he's actually felt helpless, either. When Lenalee left, he felt helpless then, too. Every single person from their world had dwindled down to just four in a matter of two months. Two months. In a sense, it had an irony that almost paralleled Home. Because they were at war, you never knew when one parted ways...if it'll be for the last time. Here, in this desolate "city," you never know who's still here in the morning.

He hated it. It was quiet enough here where he hated it. Every morning, he had to check the rooms. He had to make sure that everyone was still here. Save for Sasuke, if he counted correctly, he's been here the longest.

How is he even still sane.

He watched the strain trying to hold everything together put on Allen. He watched Lenalee's sanity start to chip away the longer she stayed.

All he ever did was watch.

Kanda lifted a hand to cover his face, gritting his teeth as he laid on the rooftop of the apartments. It was still cool out as dust approached, and the rain and sleet had been going on and off all day. He didn't care. He laid there still, only his wool jacket protecting his torso from the cold.

He didn't care if he got sick again. He just wanted the cold, decaying air to help clear his mind.

Kanda parted gloved fingers and glanced up into the cloudy sky, his vision providing the additional raining lotus petals. His time was running out, but as long as he stayed here, he had a little more, didn't he?

He wanted to wait. Wait for Allen to come back (if he ever did, Libitina was more than yanking everyone's chain in December), or wait to be sent home and make the most of it here... Those were the only choices that he seemed to be left with.

There was only so many projects they could do, so much time that they would successfully distract him and keep him busy.

Sorry, Allen. It's hard to live when there's so little left. You can punch him when you get back.]

[[ ooc: tl;dr, he's moping on the rooftop. bother him!! ]]